Touch
by SlytherinElektra
Summary: Loki gives Thanos the tesseract and collapses. This begins to uncover a story much more complicated about the past, motivations and control. Featuring Loki, Thor, Bruce, Nebula and a bunch of others. Loki whump.
1. Chapter 1

""You have proved most useful to me, Loki, and your help is appreciated. Sadly, I have no more use to you. And you know too much."

"Some of the Avengers and Guardians that had been knocked out were coming to, others were just arriving. But almost all of them saw perfectly what happened next, shortly after Loki had given Thanos the Tesseract, as he was asked to do. But he knew too much, he was a liability, a loose end.

Loki could give those Avengers an advantage with what he knew, make things difficult for Thanos. And now that he the tesseract back and that he had most of his children with him, Thanos had enough resources and enough companions, sufficient for his plans. It was a pity to relinquish such a great asset as the Asgardian prince, but he had to. And so he did.

"The Titan approached Loki, a faint smile on his purple lips and, instead of shaking of shaking his hand, instead of stabbing him or anything of the sort, he simply put two fingers on Loki's forehead and disappeared in a hue of purple smoke, his smile transformed into a malicious grin that seemed to be a very bad omen for Loki's future.

And so the Avengers saw, confused, how Loki collapsed after having simply been touched in the forehead. He fell, boneless, to his knees, and looked in front of him without seeing, a strange look of finality in those unseeing eyes. Time seemed to have stopped, and they were all frozen. And then... a strange pale blue liquid started falling from the corners of both of Loki's eyes and then he started coughing up the same blue substance. Within seconds, he fell completely to the floor, and was on there, choking, gurgling, retching whatever that was that seemed to be taking over him.

"Loki!"

"Thor screamed and ran, trying to reach his fallen brother. He had ready to strike him down, just minutes before, but seeing like that, miserably retching on the floor and trying desperately to breathe, suddenly all of his hatred, all of his anger at being betrayed again were forgotten, abandoned and there was only worry and horror at seeing him like that. No more how many times they betrayed each other, no matter what he did, Loki would always be his little brother and he would always love him.

"The Asgardian put Loki on his side, cradled his upper body, while he frantically asked what he could do. There was no answer from Loki, who looked at him with clouded eyes and vomited more of that liquid. Thor tried to clean his brother's face a bit, tried to get him to talk, to tell him what was going on and how could he help, but Loki didn't seem to be able to respond. He was looking at him, at least, he knew Thor was there.

"But he couldn't talk through the pain, could hardly move, couldn't do anything except let it consume all of his body, all his internal organs exploding with white hot pain, eating him and his head alive. It had been like a distant hum, before. Loki had known that Thanos had done something to him, and he did feel someone else, another presence within him, but never seemed to want or be able to anything to get rid of it.

Now that distant hum had become a deafening scream and it had grown fangs and it was throwing bombs in him, was clogging him and Loki was on the floor, trying to focus, trying to see, to hear, to get through the pain. Thor was there, seemingly calling his name, holding him, talking to him. He wanted to tell him many things before he died, didn't want to die with all those regrets, but he couldn't speak, his throat drowning him.

He tried grabbing one of Thor's arms, trying to pass all the things he should have before it was too late, but couldn't. His hands tried to grab onto Thor but couldn't. He was fading, at an alarming speed.

"Somebody help!" Thor screamed, with his booming voice.

The others had been watching in confused horror as the scene unfolded before their eyes. It made no sense for Loki to have collapsed like and be in the brink of death, suddenly, when all Thanos had done, was lightly touch him on the forehead with two fingers. If he had such power to kill people with such a small movement? Why hadn't the titan used it with anyone else? It seemed to great a power not to have used before.

Maybe Loki was playing a trick on them, pretending to be die or to be in agony, so he could get away with what he had done. Wouldn't be the first time. Sure, it seemed like too gross a death for him, too physical and pathetic (these people were royalty, they liked their deaths clean and in glorious battle) but one could never be sure with someone as sketchy as the God of Lies.

"Why are you standing there?" Thor bellowed. "Help me, do something!"

"How do we now this is not just a scene he's playing to avoid punishment? There's something wrong here." Tony said, all suited up and in front of the brothers, trying to figure out what just didn't fit. One thing was clear, if Loki was faking he was the greatest actor in the history of the universe.

"We are wasting time!" Thor screamed at his unmoving friends, fearing that Loki would close his eyes and never open them again.

"I can tell you if his pain is real or fake." Mantis said in a small voice, appearing behind Iron Man. "Just let me touch him for a moment and we will now.

And so she knelt in front of the brothers and gently reached out and touched one of the god's cheeks lightly and... IT WAS HELL and raging fire, pain like she had never known before, pain in a way she hadn't thought was possible and it was in every bit, overpowering consuming. Mantis screamed without realizing it, a loud, unending scream of pain and then she let go and fell to the floor, two tears already falling.

"He is not lying. I had never felt such pain... I... poor soul... we – we have to do something."

"I don't think there's anything we can do. It's too late for him." Another feminine voice spoke, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Nebula. "I've seen Thanos do that before, he uses it with allies he considers difficult or not trustworthy. He plants whatever it is on them the first time they work together and lets it grow, lets it eat the hosts mind, to make their will more flexible.. To make them obey in an easier way. And then, when they no longer of use, or he hears they know too much... Just a little touch, and they're dead in seconds."

"Well,great to know he can do that." Tony said, feeling bad for being sarcastic in such a dire situation but doing it anyways.

"It's not something he does often." Nebula added. "It takes years for whatever that blue liquid is to reach a level of infestation critical enough for the instant kill."

"Well, it's been more than an instant, and Loki is still alive."Bruce said, wearing only some dirty shorts. "Maybe something about his constitution is making him last longer?"

"So?"

"If he lasts enough for us to fix him, he will be able to tell us, all of those things that Thanos doesn't want us to know."

"There's no fixing it. It's a death sentence."

"And yet, he's not dead. From what you said, and what I see, this looks like something biological, a virus, a parasite something like. With a sample we could easily create an antibiotic, antibodies, something to stop it."

"To stop an alien mystery magical death sentence? I don't know, Bruce. It sounds a bit far fetched." Tony said "we don't have any time to waste, or anyone."

"This could a breakthrough! I'll just take Thor and Nebula."

"And if that blue thing influenced Loki into doing what he did, we owe to him to do as much as we can to save him and free him." Steve said. "I say we give them a chance."

There was a general consensus and they left for one of Tony's warehouses/secret labs/headquarters. Mantis decided to join them, haunted by all she felt and hoping to help. In the meantime, Thor was hoping against hope, Bruce was sciencing in his head how could he fix this extra quick and Nebula too was hoping that this would have a happy ending, because it would be a huge step forward in her plans. Loki was just hoping for the pain to end.

Sadly, time was not on their side.

A/N: Sorry about the formatting. If you liked, feedback would be lovely. To be continued!


	2. Chapter 2

The trip to Stark's science lab/city headquarters was short, but felt long. There was an strange atmosphere in the small group: tension, fear, confusion. Some of them felt hopeful that this was the great breakthrough they needed to put themselves one step ahead of their enemy: he didn't know that Loki wasn't dead, and if he survived, he would probably be very angry at almost being killed and agree to work with them. But could they really trust Loki to work with them? Was it worth the trouble of saving his life, when he could just mean more trouble?

When they got to Tony's facility, Bruce instructed Thor how to put his brother down on the bed, always on his side so he wouldn't choke on... whatever that was. Thor did so, slowly, uncharacteristically gently. His armor was stained pale blue but the fluid that was taking over his brother. Loki was coughing and retching less often now, but they didn't know if this was a good thing. Maybe this meant that he was freeing himself of whatever the blue thing was, or maybe his body was giving up and allowing the blue liquid to do its duty and kill the host. Whatever it was, Thor was worried and saddened, and wondered if this would have a happy ending: Loki had gone through too much abuse already, and this was supposed to be a death sentence.

Bruce took a sample of the blue liquid and told Thor and Mantis what to do to keep their patient relatively comfortable. He got some painkillers into Loki and programmed the machines around him so that they would warn him if his state took a turn for the worse. He was a bit glad to go to the lab and be away from Loki's eyes. There was a mixture of pain, anger and resignation in those green eyes that was uncomfortably familiar for Bruce. He knew. And to top that there was Thor's pain, and Mantis, who could feel everything, echoing them... They were not likely to set off a Hulk crisis, but to depress his Bruce side beyond what was acceptable. And he needed to work, people were depending on him.

Loki felt useless and angry, laying on his side on an unfamiliar bed, powerless to anything as that poison tried to shatter his innards and it was only his magic healing him just as the damage was done that was letting him survive, just a little bit longer. An extremely painful and tiresome process that he didn't know how long he was going to able to keep up and made him want to double over, squirm and scream, but he was too weak to even move as much. This was never how he had wanted to go. But Thanos...

He had used him, and infected him and tried to dispose of him. He, who was a god, and let himself be a pawn in the mad titan's little games, let himself be influenced, let himself be a means to an end. He wondered how of what he'd done had been planted by Thanos' blue parasite in his head, how deep his control ran. He'd been under his thumb for longer he could ever have suspected, and probably wasn't even going to live to make him pay. It wasn't fair, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. He'd been played, he, who was the master at games. He felt utterly defeated, bitter, joyless.

And then, there was a touch, and Loki was no longer bitter.

Mantis didn't want this stranger to spend the remainder of his agony being angry and feeling beat, so she simply made it so that his anger would diminish, and made it so that the more positive emotions would take its place. There had been a tinge of love buried underneath of all those layers of pain, anger, regret and self-loathing, there had been some longing in there. She felt how much this man had suffered throughout his whole life, how much hurt and sadness had piled up and how wrong he'd felt about himself, about his choices, about the ways other had treated him and he'd treated others.

Yeah, she had felt everything when she touched him, as Loki had turned out to be an incredibly emotional individual under that villainous façade. Never belonging. Calling himself a monster and hoping that power, that love from other people could maybe maybe soothe his raging hatred of himself, but convinced the world could only accept him through obligation, through fear. That nobody would ever choose to accept or love him because he simply wasn't worth it. The need to be better, and stronger, and smarter, but it was never quite enough to delete the horrors of who he really was, what he'd done, what had been done unto him.

If Mantis could alleviate that nightmare, however briefly, she would. After so much pain, the man could use a little bit of peace, maybe of hope.

Not knowing why he was doing it, Loki called Thor to his side, in almost a whisper.

Thor had been one of the only people who seemed to care for him. Thor had been angry and saddened all the times he had almost died, when he threw himself off the Bifrost, when he was impaled in Svartalfheim, and now too. Refused to leave his side, he who was a warrior and was instead on a medical facility, next to a person who had refused him, tried to kill him even.

"Thor" he whispered, in between coughs "... tell me... say – say that you do not want me to pass."

"Of course I don't! No matter how much I tried to hate you, I never could honestly stopped caring for you. You will always be my little brother, and I will never wish for you to suffer, or disappear from my life. I have so many good memories with you, Loki, I love you. So, please, hang on. For me."

Loki's back arched and he spent the next three minutes vomiting into a basin that Banner had left, and then painfully heaving. He fell boneless when he finished, feeling extremely drained, his eyelids heavy. Thor's voice seemed to be very far away as he shook him.

"Don't you leave me now, Loki. Banner is about to find your cure, you need to hang on until then."

Loki felt strangely at peace as he looked into Thor's panicked face. He coughed, and spoke in a thin broken voice.

"Good memories, yes... I am grateful, Thor, for all the adventures, you... you brought me to. But I made so many wrong choices, Thor, and I regret..."

He broke off, feeling too exhausted to finish. Thor's eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"It wasn't only you, brother. It is on me too, I should have seen your pain building up, should have appreciated you and your abilities more, should have stopped my friends when they mocked or belittled you... Shouldn't have let father..." His voice broke. "You made many bad choices, and so did I. But you need to live so we can have a chance to start anew, fix those mistakes... Be brothers again."

The edge of Loki's lips lifted upward, as if wanting to draw a smile, but the world was disappearing.

"Loki, no! You can't go now, you need to stay with me! LOKI!"

But Loki was limp again, unconscious and Thor screamed in grief and punched a wall.

Nebula had been watching the exchange, with a bit of envy. The older brother had said that he wanted them to be brothers again, and had admitted to being wrong, to not having treated his brother well enough. Oh, how she had wished that Gamora would one day tell her those words, say, all choked up, that she shouldn't have let their father hurt her.

She watched the machines, and noticed, with both relief and surprise, that despite losing consciousness, Loki still lived.

"He is remarkable, your brother." She said. "No one had ever lived more than a few seconds after being touched by Thanos. It's been hours, and he still lives."

"It won't matter if he doesn't last until the cure is finished." Thor said, wiping the tears from his face.

Some of the blue liquid was leaking now form the edge of his mouth and eyes, even as he slept. There was so much of it, Nebula wondered how long had Thanos' touch had been inside of him. And how he'd been able to fight him for so long.

"Nebula." Thor's voice said, stronger this time. "Should Loki perish, I do hope you will let me join you in your quest to -"

"Make Thanos feel the apin he's caused us and then destroy him? I would gladly have an angry God on my side."

Good.

And so they waited, feeling that the clock was running against them, hoping against hope that Loki could make it. But time was running out.

In the lab, Bruce was fascinated by the sample he'd taken, he incredible toxicity of that... thing, whatever it was. To think that Loki had been living with that was nothing short of miraculous. It made finding and producing an antidote all that harder, but Bruce had the latest software software, the best technology and materials available, and some great scientists on speed dial.

The good thing was that the cure was already being processed, at top speed (Bruce's hands were shaking, and he'd drunk three red bulls but who cared? when there was a ticking clock on the life of his friend's brother), the bad thing was that there would be no time for test run, and he didn't know what kind of side effects the compund could have, or what dose should he use.

Part of him was scared that he might make things worse, kill Loki quicker. He was no stranger to lab accidents or things that work on theory, on paper, but then are disasters. But he owed it, to everyone, even to Loki, despite all that he'd done. Bruce and the Hulk had also done terrible things, destroyed whole neighborhoods, but -

There was a loud, urgent page that took him out of his thoughts.

Loki's heart had stopped beating.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Wow, the amount of self-indulgent Loki whump that a girl can write in an ep. There should be more plot next ep, but I hope you enjoyed this one. If you did, maybe leave some feedback? It is tremendously appreciated :)


End file.
